PR 101

Times are tough. We all know that. I decided to post The Man Rules to give everyone a break. I hope you laughed as much I did when a friend sent it to my wife and I. By the way, they are funny, but they are also true.

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys’ side of the story. We always hear “the rules” from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules! Please note these are all numbered “1″ ON PURPOSE!

1.   Men are NOT mind readers. FIRST & FOREMOST RULE

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports, it’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after seven days.

1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done – not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows’ default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” We will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine – really!

1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football or Hockey.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can – to give them a laugh. Pass this to as many women as you can – to give them a bigger laugh.

Planning for crisis communications should be a key part of every company’s marketing planning. I have preached that to clients for years. It might seem obvious to many people, but the rise of social media has changed the response to a crisis from hours to sometimes minutes. People who don’t get that always amaze me.

I am not talking about a plant fire or an accident. There might be actually more time to respond to the media on one of those. Most people understand that the average executive doesn’t have time during the event to respond to questions. It is perfectly acceptable to say in such a case that the causes will be dealt with once the immediate crisis is over.

What I am talking about is an information crisis, which can often more damaging that a physical disaster. The fallout from a physical disaster can be mitigated. Unless it is dealt with right away, a consumer complaint or an even an unfounded can spread around the Internet is a matter of minutes.

Even though Mark Twain died 80 years before the rise of the Internet, he summed it up correctly when he said: “A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.” Actually, I think a lie can make it all the way around the world before truth gets out of bed.

Part of the problem is many companies still don’t pay attention. I am always amazed that any corporation will spend millions on advertising, but very little on reputation monitoring and management. To not keep track of company reputation is committing business suicide.

One of my firm rules of is that social media can kill you before you even know are bleeding. Someone needs to be watching 24/7. Remember that old saying that “the sun never sets on the British Empire.” That was because the English had colonies on almost every continent. Well, the Internet has a much a wider reach than the Empire ever did.

Facebook alone has over 500 million followers. Twitter is somewhere north of 100 million. If someone posts on Facebook an error your company made, and it goes viral, you could wake up in the morning to find your reputation trashed.

Look at the companies that have run into trouble because of their Internet ignorance: Proctor & Gamble’s Motrin, Comcast, United Airlines, Kryptonite Bike Locks, L’Oreal, Dell Computers, Wal-Mart, Jet Blue – the list goes on and on. (My thanks to SMI for its short history of social media screw-ups.)

Some of those companies learned their lesson and started paying attention to what as happening on the ‘Net. I am not sure others get it even after being punched around.

The only way to deal with is to be proactive. As I have also always preached, you have to be part of the conversation about your brand. It is essential. That’s why I always tell clients that they need to hear the bad comments more than the good. Good comments reinforce what you are already doing. It is valuable to know that so you can expand whatever worked.

Bad comments will tell you where you are making mistakes. That’s more important. Responding to a consumer complaint can build good will. Personally I find I like a place that is willing to own up to a mistake. It shows me they care.

Plus by doing that, a crisis is usually headed-off. If a company doesn’t respond to customer concerns and complaints, the whole thing can grow and get really ugly.

The take away from this is pay attention all time or be willing to pay the cost when you don’t.

I often find myself scratching my head when I watch television advertising or check a print media ad. I sometimes do the same thing when I look at social media campaigns. My wife and I sometimes play a game we call “what product are they selling?” Even why I know the product, it sometimes seems that campaign is not going to reach the people who buy the product.

I figured why this is – the people who create these campaigns work in the bubble a marketing agency can be. They are creating campaigns for three groups – the client, their supervisors, and they and their friends. It doesn’t matter none of those groups are often objective when it comes to a campaign. Those are the people who sign off on the idea, the plan and the execution.

The problem is that none of those people know how the intended consumers should be reached. The client is often dazzled how creative the campaign seems. The agency people have no other point of reference than their own. The research they do is designed to reinforce their own ideas.

Let me give you an example from another industry that I think proves the point.

When I first moved to Detroit in 1978, I was struck by how many miles of really good freeways the area had. Residents would boast that Detroit was second only to Los Angeles in multilane highway mileage. At the time, these were really well maintained roads. Potholes and other obstacles were rare occurrences. Maintenance was done late at night, so there were no traffic tie-ups during the day.

This was the environment in which U.S. car companies operated. I think it influenced the way they designed cars. Those cars were not designed for the typical American highway because the executives and designers drove on good roads everyday. The executive and designers lived in a bubble of their own making. They assumed that every road was like the ones they drove on each day. When consumers rejected those cars because they didn’t meet their needs, it took Detroit a long time to break out of that bubble.

I feel the same thing is true of a lot of marketers. They live in that bubble, or silo, or whatever you want to call it. They don’t understand that they are just looking in a mirror when they ask for input from the people around them.

I think this is why a lot of agencies simply ignore baby boomers. Even though my generation is large and still has some discretionary income, the average 29-year-old doesn’t know to market to us. Oh, they try, but they have no idea works for us. So, the campaign fails and no one wants to try again.

That’s one of the things I like about social media done well. It forces the campaign out into the real world. It is lot harder to stay in a bubble when people from the outside are popping it.