PR 101

My brother died 13 years ago. My mother died 11 years ago. Neither ever lived Wisconsin. They lived in Florida.

Yet, at least once a month, sometimes more often, we receive mail for them at the Cole household. They have  been offered credit cards, had requests for donations, to buy health insurance, and in my brother’s case, offers to help him manage his diabetes. A little late on that I think.

We started receiving mail for them about six months after my mother died. I was the executor of the estates, so my address did end up on all correspondence. However, both estates were closed out years ago. I haven’t sent out anything involving either of them in at least seven years.

Yet, somehow, a bunch of lowlife list companies and lazy marketers still send mail for them. Initially, right after both deaths, it upset me. The wounds were still raw. I used to return the mailings with “addressee deceased” written on the envelope. I gave up after awhile because it stopped nothing from coming. Now, I do not even bother to open anything. They just get tossed.

Now, I have to say, I hate junk mail. I always have and I always will. I cannot believe it is all that effective. All it does kill trees. Since the advent of the “no-call” lists blocked telemarketers, direct mail has to be the dumbest way to try and reach customers. Okay, spam email might be worse, but at least I can block most of that.

Do the people who do this really think I am going to buy a product from an unsolicited mailing? Do these people even read marketing research? Do they not know that there are other more effective, less annoying, and less intrusive ways to reach their marketing goals? Have they not heard of the Internet or social media?

And as long as I am ranting, what about these groups that send address labels? Do they really think some sticky pieces of paper with my name and address on it are going to move me to make a donation? It won’t. I have no qualms about using the labels. I just don’t send any money back.

Least you think I am a scrooge, I volunteer with several charities in the Milwaukee area. My wife and I also make donations to groups whose work we want to support. But we choose the groups to which we are going donate. We do our research, check out the group’s federal tax filings and then write a check. Research is key. I want to make sure at least 90 percent of our donation is going to go help someone. I don’t want pay for a large office or a trip to a seminar.

I also do pro bono work for a Milwaukee group that needs the help.

As a note, do not send me a solicitation for anything based on this blog. I will not answer it.

Getting back to my point about how of much of a donation goes to help the given cause, that’s what really bothers me about mail solicitations. How much does it cost to write, print, prepare, and send out those direct mailings? Wouldn’t that money be better spent helping people?

Instead of licking envelopes, find another, more effective way to reach people. Don’t know what they are? Send me an email.

I have been watching the debate over Royal Caribbean’s cruise lines decision to continue to cruise to its private beach. I have been thinking about what I would tell the company’s leaders if I was the company’s media and marketing maven. So, here it is:

From: Media and Marketing Maven Jeff Cole

To: The Royal Caribbean C-Suite

Re: Again cruising to our private beach at Labadee, Haiti

There has much internal debate about whether we should again take our cruise ships to Labadee. I have read the memos about going back. Frankly, there is not one argument that convinces me that this will not be an unmitigated public relations disaster.

My concern is that our thinking is too short term. We need to think how this decision will look five or 10 years from now. Yes, people will forget much about the incident in a few years. But, it is selective amnesia. What they are they liable to remember is that we cruised to Haiti during a disaster – not that we donated money and brought relief supplies.

So, let’s look at the current arguments for cruising to Haiti and my responses:

• The Haitian government has asked us to continue our cruises because we provide a valuable source of income to their country. First of all, I would question how much thought the government of Haiti gave to that invitation. They have much more important things to worry about. And even if they did, we have to consider how the people of Haiti will view a bunch pasty white tourists frolicking while they are burying hundreds of thousands of their fellow citizens. Governments and attitudes change. The next government could use what they view as our callousness to kick out us and turn the Labadee over to a competitor. Do we really want to lose that access to for good?
• We employ several hundred Haitians at Labadee and support hundreds of others by allowing them to sell their wares to our passengers. We provide a valuable source of income for those people. So, why not pay these people to help in the relief effort? Continue their salaries, but allow them to go to Port Au Prince to help.
• Many of our cruisers are taking the cruise of a lifetime. They are honeymooners or elderly couples who have saved their pennies for years to make this trip. We would destroy their dreams. You mean to tell me we couldn’t simply reroute the ships to not stop at Haiti? We have other private beaches in the Caribbean.
• All those people who would be angry they didn’t get the trip they wanted will sue us. First, don’t we have insurance for that kind of thing? Second, I would urge if that happened that we post the name of every person who sues on our website. We send a press release to their hometown newspaper and television station announcing the lawsuit. We state in that release we decided helping Haiti was more important a vacation. Who looks callous then?
• We are a giving a $1 million to the relief effort. Ladies and gentlemen, I can hear Dr. Evil saying: “$1 million dollars” and the UN snickering. Our net profit in fiscal 2008 – our last complete year – was $573.72 million. Granted, it has been a tough five years. But, we could at least give say $5.73 million, which is only one percent of net.

Now, for some positive public relations idea:

• We have a deep-water port at Lababee that can handle our ships. I assume that means it could also handle relief ships. Why not turn Labadee over to the United Nations for say six months? Let them use it as a staging area. We could make it a condition that the UN hires the people we employ to aid in the relief effort. That’s another way to negate any loss of wages caused by the ships not coming.
• In addition, allow an organization such as “Doctors Without Borders” to set up a hospital at Labadee. As I understand it, Labadee has better infrastructure than 99 percent of the country. It is a perfect place for such a facility.
• If there is still insistence on going to Haiti, charge a $25 a head “relief fund surcharge.” Have the company match whatever is raised. With approximately 12,000 cruisers a week going there, we would be contributing $600,000 a week. Think about how much money we would raise in a year.
• Instead of carrying some relief supplies on each cruise ship, each week designate one ship as a relief ship. Pack it to the gunwales with everything and anything Haitians need.

These are my ideas ladies and gentlemen. I think you will agree we can turn into a winning situation for both Haiti and Royal Caribbean.

A couple of weeks ago, I saw what can happen when employees buy into a company’s overall marketing plan. I also saw what happens when a company representative ignores what a company should be doing. In the first case, I will recommend the company to my friends and to you. In the second, I will never talk about them, never endorse them, and if asked, will tell people what I think.

Case One – The Good Guys

The first case involves clothier Lands’ End. I buy a lot of my clothes from them. They are a Wisconsin-based company (albeit now owned by Sears.) I try to shop local whenever I can. But, that doesn’t mean I will forsake quality just because something is made in my home state. Lands’ End makes quality clothing.

(Note to FTC: I have not received any form of payment from Lands’ End. I doubt they even read my blog.)

At any rate, a few months ago I bought a pair of blue jeans from the Dodgeville, Wis. – based company. I wear jeans a lot. If I am working in the office all day, I wear jeans. When I am doing a repair project at home, or working outside, I wear jeans. I expect them to be comfortable and to last for a couple of years.

While the Lands’ jeans were comfortable, they started showing signs of wear with a few weeks. When a hole appeared where I sit, I went to return them to a local Lands’ End store. I had not saved the receipt.

The people in the store could have not been nicer. They looked at the jeans, checked the computer to find my account, and took the pants back no questions asked. The manager credited my credit card for the money I had spent.

What that manager did was ensure I will buy Lands’ End products for a long time. Among the other things it does, Lands’ End promises superior customer service. I am sure it is written into their business and marketing plans. More importantly, I am sure the expectation to provide that kind of service is communicated to the company’s employees.

That’s key to a company’s ethos. It isn’t enough to have a great marketing plan. Employees have to buy into it.

Now, for the other side

Both my children are getting married this year. My son and daughter are marrying wonderful people whom I really like

Since my wife and I parents of the bride in my daughter’s case, we are responsible for handling a lot of the arrangements. One of the key things we are doing is hiring a caterer. I suggested ordering 50 or so pizzas, but no one went for my idea.

Actually, my wife is handling most of the arrangements. She is smarter than I am and much better at this kind of thing.

So, she started contacting caterers. Milwaukee is a large city and we had a lot to choose from. One thing I should note is that my daughter is a vegetarian. When my wife contacted a number of caterers, she specified there had to be a vegetarian option. My wife also did her homework. She contacted friends and some food suppliers to ask which catering companies were best.

After narrowing the list down to two finalists. She emailed them both and asked for information. One responded quickly and provided all of the information requested. We were impressed. The other, frankly, took its time.

When the second caterer responded, they did not include a vegetarian option with their menu. Now, my wife is a very nice person. She patiently explained to the second caterer they did not provide the requested information. We got a nasty response that claimed the information was never requested. Wrong, we have the emails. My wife suggested they be more careful next time.

The reply my wife received read as follows: “THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUGGESTION.” Yes, it was in caps. That means the person was shouting.

I am not naming the caterer because it is not going to mean anything to most of you. And, I still want to give the company the benefit of the doubt. Maybe this person is not representative of the organization. I would not want to sully the entire company because of one idiot.

That being said, if anyone asks my wife or I what we think of this company, we are going to relate the above story. Would you want to hire them after hearing it?

The Moral

Now this caterer might have great business and marketing plans in place. Those plans might call for superior customer service. If they do, it doesn’t matter. Those plans are just so many meaningless words because one employee forgot their job to serve the client.