PR 101

Since posting the very popular rant last Wednesday on there being too many social media sites, I have had some requests for a post on what is proper social media etiquette. I wrote on the same subject almost a year ago. Like Emily Post did, I think it is time to update. So, let’s get to it.

• Let’s start at signing up for a site. Think of yourself as being at a party or in a meeting. You would tell people your real name, something about yourself and what you do. It’s no different in social media. So:
  • First, use your real name – not something cute. This is the only way that people are going to know you. If you were hunting for an employee, or hiring someone to perform a service, would you hire “drunkguy05” or “sexxxygirl02?” Plus, if you want to be found, the odds are much better if you use your real name.
  • Second, post a picture of yourself, not your dog, not a pretty sunset, or some weird avatar. People want to know what you look like. Why wouldn’t you post your own picture? You on the run from the law?
  • If you have one, include a link to a blog, another site such as LinkedIn or Facebook. This shows you are a real person. Definitely link to your website if you have one.
  • Include a short bio of yourself. Again, this gives people an idea of who you are.
  • This next rule should be obvious, but people violate it all the time. DO NOT SPAM. If you are joining a site simply to sell me something, go away. That’s not the purpose of social media. I am glad you asked – it is to have a conversation, link with like-minded people and share information. It is not to buy real estate in Goa, or some system that promises me I will get rich working five a hours a week. Or a system that makes me into a spammer. If I get those kind of invitations, I will block you, and I will report you to the site administrators. Of course, that goes double for all of those porn people out there.
  • Once you sign up for a site, it is perfectly acceptable to invite your friends – once. Not six times. As I said last week, if I don’t respond to your invitation, it means I don’t want to join. After the third time, I am going to send you to my spam filter, never to return. And know something about the people you are inviting. As a personal example, I am an Apple; I will never be a PC. So don’t invite me to join Windows Live. It is not going to happen.
  • On that subject, there is quantity versus quality debate in social media. Some experts argue that the idea is to accumulate as many followers as possible. Their thesis goes you want to distribute whatever you are sending out to the widest possible network. The other side it is better to be followed by a 100 people who are influencers in their networks. I come somewhere in the middle. It is up to you to decide. However, this is not high school – the person with the most friends does not win.
  • After you join a site, get active on it. Why else would you join?  That doesn’t mean you have to spend every waking minute posting. But, if you join Twitter, tweet twice a day. If you are Facebook, post an update or two each day. You get the idea. I will not follow anyone who invites me to join a site, but has done nothing there themselves.
  • As part of the above bullet, respond to other people’s post. That’s just good manners. If you want people to respond to what you do, you should have the courtesy to do the same for them.
  • Another thing for you LinkedIn people – unless you know someone personally or have worked closely with them, don’t recommend them. And do not send out blanket requests for recommendations to total strangers. How good could a recommendation be if you nothing about someone? Plus, what if you called by a potential employer who asks you about some stranger you recommended? You are going to look dumb and the odds are very good that the candidate will not get the job.
  • A final note – there is no privacy in social media. Well really, there is no privacy in the Internet Age period. So, if you don’t want people to know something, don’t post it anywhere. Things on the web never really go away. Along those lines, all of you college kids who have those really cool photos of that weekend in Cabo where you took your clothes off and jumped into the ocean – take them down. Many companies will not hire someone if they see such photos. Yeah, it is not fair, but that’s the way it is.



I have been active in social media for about a year.  I have also sat at the (digital) feet of Simon Ford, a man I consider a true social media expert, and learned a lot. I am active on over a dozen sites – ranging from Facebook to Squidoo. I range over another dozen at least once a week.

Now, that’s all well and good. I know I am not unique in my use of social media. One thing that makes me unique is my age – I am 55-years-old. I don’t how many other baby boomers do as much as I do with social media.

I bring up age for a reason: Mrs. Cole raised a polite boy, one who knew his manners from an early age. Just as there are (or at least I hope there still are) rules for conversations, there are also social media rules. Ignoring some social media rules will only get your marked as a boor, ignoring others will get you marked as a spammer and ignoring still others can cost you a job. In some instances, if you are really stupid, it can get you sent to jail.

So here, in about 800 words, are Mrs. Cole’s son’s rules for using social media sites. I cannot cover them all, but I will hit the high points. Most of the rules are universal.

One thing – there is no privacy on the Internet. It is the price we pay for connectivity. Nothing ever really goes away. It is on the ‘net somewhere. The rule I always use is that if I would be embarrassed for my family to see it, I don’t post it.

There two general rules I want to tell you first, although I hope you already know them both.

• First, social media sites are not a popularity contest. You have already graduated from high school. So don’t try to add followers just because you think it’s cool to have a lot of followers. Followers, and those you follow, should be people with which you have things in common. Hopefully, you are on a site to talk, debate, learn and share information. It is almost never cool to push yourself. If you post something that attracts attention, others will repeat it. It is like all social media – third party endorsements are the best.
• Second, no spamming. You should not be using social media lists to sell the latest scheme for anything. As Social Traffic Inc. CEO Doug McIsaac says: “if you wouldn’t want it to happen to you, why would you do it to others?”

Oh, I am going to assume you know about the sites I am writing about. There will be no explanations of which sites do what.

Let’s start with the rules for Twitter:

• First – use your real name, or some variation thereof. I follow people with real names; I usually won’t follow @stonerchick88 or @studman. Why aren’t you using your real name? What do you have to hide? And, if you use a dumb nickname, I will assume one of two things: you are about 12-years-old, or you are spammer. In either case, I am not interested.
• Second, post a link and a bio. Again, I assume if there is no information, you are hiding something. As a side note, if your link leads me to some get rich quick scheme, I will block you. Pictures, while not required, are also nice. I like to see to whom I am talking.
• Third, tweet at least once a day or so. If you ask me to follow you, and you have not tweeted since George W. Bush was president, I am not interested. It means you have nothing to say.
• Retweet what others have to say, it ‘s common courtesy.
• I don’t give a damn what you had for breakfast, or if your dog has gas.

Facebook

• I know Facebook is a little more, how shall I say, homey. People do talk about breakfast, flowers, and their dog’s intestinal upsets. That’s fine. Just don’t get upset when I ignore that.
• For all you students out there, do not, I repeat, do not, post pictures of you smoking a joint at that wet t-shirt contest. Potential employers check Facebook before making hiring decisions. You think they are going to hire you if they have pictorial evidence of you doing something stupid? And don’t gamble on taking everything down in your senior year. Nothing is ever secret on the Internet. The rule of thumb is if you want Mom to see it, don’t post it.

LinkedIn – this is my favorite social media site. You have to be adult to be on it. It’s rules are strictly enforced by both its moderators and it members. Still, there are rules, including:

• Complete your profile. I have picked up clients because people have read my profile.
• Generally, it is common courtesy to link in with someone who asks. Contacts are at the heart of LinkedIn, so honor the requests.
• If you join a group, it is good manners to comment on discussions and answer questions. That’s what linking in is all about. It is a discussion group, after all.

If you really like what someone is doing, recommend them. It tells others that this is a good person.

YouTube – This one is pretty simple. Don’t post any videos you don’t want a future employer to see. Just like Facebook, employers check YouTube. Of course, we have all read the stories of people committing a crime. For some unknown reason, they feel the urge to record it and post it on YouTube. I personally think the sentence should be doubled because of the stupidity of it all.

There are a number of other sites – Digg, Squidoo, Technorati, and FriendFeed to name a few. The basic rule for all of them is showing some respect for others. And be yourself, but don’t be a jerk.

Thanks for reading. Next week, I will be talking about the do’s and don’ts of media training.